Holly Wood’s Talk Time for Single Men…. Part One
“Well ladies here I am, what are your other two wishes?”
For the love of everything inside of me – Listen up single men…. LISTEN UP… I see some posts in our Secrets FB group page and if your posts are not approved please know that I am personally saving you from yourself! And of course, for some posts following the guidelines that FB has put in place for the community standards, but lately what are y’all thinking?! This is not even just about social media, this is about going to a lifestyle resort and learning how to be respectful – don’t worry, that will be covered in Part Two. If you cannot have some manners – then you do not belong in the lifestyle. Trust, respect, and integrity go a long way.
Men you are getting some heat on you because your fellow single male friends, that unfortunately seem to think they are the hidden crown jewels of some royal family and in the process of their obnoxious mating rituals feel that every woman wants to see every angle of their dick. Guys NO! Stop that non-sense, as I have stated in my other blog – there is a very and I mean VERY slim chance that after sending pictures of your penis and balls that a girl or a guy is going to jump up out the bed, do some below the belt scaping, maybe a douche, spray on the perfume, do hair and makeup, get a babysitter, slap on something sexy and rush right over to a stranger and succumb to the very anatomy you seem to consider as your prized possession. Bro – put the damn thing away. If we want to play with it, I assure you we will request it, pull it out, slurp it up or stick it in.
Although there is going to be a bit of sarcasm in this, I am serious – so get out your notebook and let us take some notes here fellows. Men, single men, married men - let me be clear - chivalry does not have to be a foreign term…
I am going to break this down into several different parts we shall call this “Secrets Series in the Lifestyle” – Part One Single Men on Social Media, for those that do not like reading, we will be going live weekly on FB to go over this and really start answering some questions and giving some advice. If there is anything you feel needs to be discussed or you have questions, please email me at firstname.lastname@example.org and lets have a chat live for the peeps in the back. Although the single male behavior has been a hot topic of discussion, single ladies this does not mean you are off the hook here and let us go a step further peeps, just because you are a couple does not mean there is not a series part that does not pertain to you, it’s time to get real and talk about how to treat people. Being single is a balance when approaching couples, other singles, or those in a poly relationship. Relationships, you have a responsibility to the single you are bringing in to treat them as an equal when it comes to respect and human decency, they may not be equal in the status of the relationship – but it does not mean you get to negate their feelings when there is trouble in paradise. But Men, we are going to address you first because y’all are just acting like the female species is something you are entitled to and no sir, common decency goes a long way. Welcome to Part one: “Single Men on Social Media” when it comes to being on a lifestyle social media platform. This is said out of love, respect and hopes for all those ladies and couples that truly are looking to enhance their relationship by including you in it. This is not a competition to see who can score the fastest – slow down, take your time and show some respect.
Rules to Follow on Social Media
A soft introduction of just who you are is sufficient with a cute picture to grab attention. By cute I mean just you, a smile, not your family jewels in the picture, no outlining of grey sweatpants or the shampoo challenge. No cigarettes and 40’s dangling from your lips and although we never judge anyone’s past – please, for your own good, do not use the mugshot and call it a professional picture. We know the difference, lying will get you nowhere. I know this can seem easy enough but we all know some of you men ride the struggle bus on this.
“New to the group and just wanted to introduce myself – I am John Doe, single and live in the Orlando Area – always enjoy meeting like-minded people. I haven’t been to (Insert restaurant, beach, nightclub etc.) any recommendations or favorite spots?”
This lets people know that you are single, you are just casually looking to meet people and connect with others like majority of people are without looking desperate and like a tool. Most people will respond, and this does not mean you get to jump on the chance to get in their pants – start with a conversation, engaging the mind will get you further than engaging with your penis in mind. If the comments are going in the direction that is friendly, I promise they will reach out to you. If they don’t, then they are not interested in hooking up. One of the greatest things about the lifestyle – majority of people know what they want and will strike up that conversation if they are interested in something more than casual conversation.
“New to the group, horny and ready to make you scream my name over and over while your husband watches”
Although you honestly believe including a picture of your outlined manhood will get the ladies to rush into your DM, IM or any other form of communication – you are wrong. This is not one of those moments where a woman is always telling a man they are wrong – no really, you are wrong. Accept this as a way of helping you - help yourself. Yea this does happen, so here we are folks – that is the millionth reason I am writing this blog. To take this a step further – if the first few pictures you think are great and fantastic to slide in someone’s DM with, ask yourself these two questions:
- Could I send this to my mother?
- Would my child be proud of this picture?
MIC DROP…. Mind Blown… Pretty simple concept here folks.
“John Doe here – love the picture of you and your wife, would it be ok to send you a DM or PM”
Ask permission to send a private message – just because couples are in the lifestyle it does not mean that you have a greater chance with hooking up. It just means that we are a community that embraces sexuality and the freedom that can come with being open.
“Sexy dirty slut, want me to come fill your mouth up”
Do not and I repeat do NOT slide into their DM/PM with your cock in your hand asking if they want to watch you jerk off and if they will talk dirty to you. This is stupid to think that this is respectful and will get you anywhere. That is what other websites and 900 numbers are there for. DO NOT confuse the two my friends. Don’t be that guy.
“Hey Rick and Suzy, thank you for reaching out on my post – how long have you been in the lifestyle? I have been in for (insert time) or I am new and just learning how the dynamics work. I want to make sure I am not overstepping boundaries.”
When given permission to engage in private messaging – be courteous and respectful. It is ok to ask about their dynamics and what they are looking for, remember you are entering into an established relationship – a woman is not some prized toy that gets to be taken off a shelf and loaned out for your entertainment pleasures. This becomes a group decision, and you are being trusted by the one person that has made a vow to dedicate his love to her. You may see this as a hook up, but the wife or GF you are playing with is someone’s entire world and love. Be respectful of their openness to bring you into that. (We will touch on the couple’s role in this in another part series.)
“what’s Up Suzy”
“Bored wanna see it?”
“Dumb slut, no one thinks you’re hot anyways”
….Unsolicited dick pic (x’s30)
….Another Unsolicited dick pic
….Missed video chat (repeat 10xs)
Here is a good rule of thumb – if you are left on read, men we are not interested. No games, no cat and mouse flirting, we really are not interested. AT ALL. So stop. For real, stop. I mean you wouldn’t want to be in a relationship and be ignored so why the hell would you keep pressing and pressing when we don’t even know who you are? If you are constantly sending private messages and calls with weird dick pics all that is going to do is get you blocked and blasted. We watch out for one another, so when you offend one of us, you offend all of us. We are a tight community and if you don’t like the rules and can not show respect and decency then you don’t belong. If you think what I am saying is rude, well you have to do some soul searching and maybe even therapy.. Nothing wrong with that, but you are not entitled to -nor any gift from the universe that makes it ok to belittle, stalk or just downright be annoying when it comes to approaching females and/or couples. We could easily block you and many women have had to resort to this, but guys – this SHOULD be a blow to your ego, that is a way of saying that you are rude, ignorant, disrespectful, and dare I say just a douchebag. So if it does not phase you that you get blocked and have been blocked more than once – again maybe time to do some self-reflection.
For the single men, married men and men in a relationship that do show respect and admiration for the ladies, thank you. The appreciation is extended for many different reasons and one of them is being able to experience a different level of sexuality with our partners. Whether that be by a date, soft play or a full out BDSM experience, sprinkled with some kink and fetish – there are plenty of couples and singles that really enjoy being able to have a single male to flirt with, DM, PM in hopes to take that next step and that would be meeting up in person. Do NOT blow that chance by being a wack-a-doo on social media. Remember, this is not a race to the finish line. You want longer than 5 minutes of sex and blow jobs, well we want more than 5 minutes of getting to know you to see if you are someone that could fit into the dynamic that is being fantasized about.
Stay tuned for Part Two of the “Secrets Series in the Lifestyle”